you're so fond of dying - Children 18:3

It's a lesson in progress
How far away can we go?
Everything is progress
As far as I know

Take a life and make it something less, please
Anything more than stupid tests
And tests and tests and tests
I found the answer to my selfishness

Cry, cry, cry
Please stop killing us
(You know we're all so fond of dying)
Please stop using us
They'll never shut up
Please stop killing us
(You know we're all so fond of dying)
Please stop using us

It's an acceptable practice
And I am loathe to say
Snuffed out the wicks from a sea of candles
Maybe Jesus could take it away

Please stop killing us
(You know we're all so fond of dying)
Please stop using us
They'll never shut up
Please stop killing us
(You know we're all so fond of dying)
Please stop using us

The carousel comes 'round again I cry and scream, but I pretend
They're running down and I can't chase
Or put that smile out of place
Say it isn't so!

Come, they come to take them all away
But I'm not going home
Come, they come to take my soul away
But I'm not going home

Cry, cry, cry
And we hear them sing..

i would love to have a conversation with jon foreman someday.

i absolutely love this blog of his:
http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=197111722&blogID=314101948&Mytoken=5C7A87A8-616A-4738-AA5C9AB80912DF8767308879

calender marks - my favorite highway

I've fallen victim to my greatest fear
The calendar marks that I lost a whole year
Three-sixty-five, barely alive
Grace took her good natured time to arrive
Oh my fod, this year has dealt me a horrible hand
I'll try and explain, but you won't understand
Well wait, what's today's date?
There's plenty of time left to procrastinate, or plan my escape

Let me go
Let me go

The Autumn leaves join in a bittersweet chorus
A hymn so inspired as if to inform us they're leaving soon
She sends a kiss that we just barely miss
Before Winter sets in and exposes our sins

Let me go
Let me go

I want to be where nobody knows me
I'll be behind the perfect disguise
I'll drive away, I'll dissapear
I want to be anywhere, but here

Spring-time, ever changing
My life's re-arranging
So it seems I'm going down now
Tears fall on the ash, my heart's fading fast

Let me go
Let me go

While I wait for the New Year
To introduce new fears
While I'm wishing that I could be
Anywhere, but here

------------------


tonight really hasn't been a very good night.
i had some coffee, and it wasn't even good coffee, which was a mistake. because now i can't sleep.
i cut my finger really bad on the trashcan.. and it hurts uber-bad. all i was doing was putting on the lid, because i was putting the trashcan outside so the trashmen can take it early tomorrow morning, and when i put up the handle to secure the lid, it bit me. =[
and my jeans ripped when i was babysitting at church. not like, knee ripped either. like, the whole pocket on the back ripped off. which was bad. and they were new jeans too.
and right now i have a song stuck in my head. but only one line from the song. and i don't know who it's by. and it's really really bothering me.

on the upside, i did get a really awesome shirt. it says "it's okay, i'm with the band". haha. i think it will be my new concert t-shirt.

eh.

my parents frustrate me a bit. they just do their job, you know, being parents, not friends.. but i sometimes wish it were different. i mean, as long as i keep my grades up, don't swear, don't wear too much makeup, don't draw on myself, and am generally a "good girl", they don't really care what i do. i was talking with a friend the other day and she was talking about how close her and her mom are - and how she tells her mom everything. i can't imagine that. my mom and i aren't close at all.
the other day, i had "love" written on my arm for love is the movement day, and my parents got all pissed off. they said i shouldn't write on myself because it 'doesn't look good' - and they would give me any other reason than that. it frustrates me to no end when people won't give me real reasons for something - especially real reasons about why it's wrong or not.
it seems like lately all my parents have been doing is getting mad at me because i haven't been doing things right, or good enough. maybe it's just the typical teenager-parent relationship.. but it frustrates me. because it seems the harder i try to do better, the worse i do.

random: fanfiction is very creepy.

i have really no plans for this summer, and it makes me sad. because normally i'm doing a bunch of stuff - like missions trips, camp, visiting people, and la-de-dah.. but this year, it's like, caput. i mean, i may go to heavenfest in july if they get some more good bands.. and want to go to warpedtour.. but those both depend on if i can find a concert buddy (because sarah is going to be gone) and on if my parents will let me go / take me. blah.


i think i complain too much.

amazing because it is - aaron gillespie

twloha street team

bigger than love - my favorite highway

We've all got scars as big as ours
A token for the pain we hide inside of us
Everyone's scared that somebody knows
You keep it inside, yeah, that's how it goes
If you've ever heard a beating heart
A rhythm for the songs we're too afraid to sing
Nobody here is perfectly fine
A delicate frame, a fragile design

If there's a hole in your heart
You gotta pull it together
It takes the courage to start
But now is better than never
It takes a push and a shove
Somehow it's never enough
And it's alarming how quick you could forget that

Nothing's bigger than love
Nothing's bigger than love
Nothing's bigger than love
All you need, all you need is love

Some people change and some just won't
You can't take back the words you wish you'd never said
Promises break and lovers will lie
You hold up your hands and let out a sigh
So smile right before you fall
And lay beside this mess and call it consequence
Somebody said that life isn't fair
When somebody else was saying a prayer

No one's taking me out
Nothing's pulling me down
I turn my head to the crowd
This love is big and it's loud
This is the car in the crash
This is the light in the flash
This is the answers you know
But you're just too scared ask

If there's a hole your heart
You gotta pull it together
It takes the courage to start
But now is better than never
It takes a push and a shove
Somehow it's never enough

-----------------------------------

i'm so done with it all. i'm done with having all the questions but not having any of the answers. i'm done with saying that i'll do things but never doing them. i'm just.. done. day by day, that's how it's going to be. no more regretting things i didn't do. no more wishing i could do things i'll never do. no more asking questions to answers that will never come.

it's just me. starting over. 'it takes courage to start, but now is better than never'. love. trust. hope.

i wrote about five pages, front and back, in my journal last night. it felt so good to just... write.

all we need is love. <3

You're Making It Come Alive - My Favorite Highway

I've finally come to realize that we are all the same
If there's nothing left to lose, then there's every to gain
All the paragraphs and pages you could write could not contain
It is curious and careless and it's flowing through my veins

The fear of growing old, and doing what you're told

You can't disguise a heart while it's breaking
You hide behind the smile you're faking
It's all about the the chance you're taking
Oh, and you know that you're making it all come alive

If your life is so damn comfortable, then why do you complain?
A reflection in the alcohol you're pouring down the drain
Just because you paint a picture doesn't mean it fits the frame
This is my West Coast intervention and I'm getting on that plane

When all of your mistakes are keeping you awake

The sun is setting and it's ending 'cause you're letting it go
Forgetting everything you already know
And it all goes to show that you're moving to slow
It will end up changing you, it will end up changing you

Life flies by so you have to embrace it
Forget the past 'cause you cannot erase it
So live the dream, and learn to chase it
And when you can almost taste it
It's all come alive


-----------

My Favorite Highway is awesome.

This is my 21st post in Febuary, my 50th post on this blog.

cheese and crackers..

I'm in a weird mood tonight.