Rockstars

You know that song that goes like "we all just wanna be big rockstars"?

I hate it. With a passion. Because it's retarded. Why would you want to be a rockstar? Why would you want to be famous? It's all so superficial and stupid.

The only reason people want to be popular is because everybody "likes" them, but everybody just likes them just because they want to be popular. It's stupid an pointless.

Seriously, WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO BE FAMOUS?!

Having no personal time, having so many people pretend they know all about you, and pretend that they're you're best friend.. when really, they don't even know you at all. Being famous is all about being superficial. I hate it.

I hate the way that we put people up on pedestals, just because they were in a movie, or they're in a band that plays some good music, or they can sing, or they can dance, or whatever it is. What we see is the outside of the person, their talent. Not the inside, not what really matters, not their soul. We never get to really know these people, and yet we want to be just like them.

Think of your favorite band, or your favorite actor. What do they believe? About anything? (life, God, whatever) Do you have any idea whatsoever? I would be very suprised if you did.

Then why do we idolize them? It makes no sense.

gah. *pounds head on keyboard*

"And that is the thing that's so frustrating to me. I don't know if we really like pop-culture icons, follow them, buy into them because we resonate with what they believe or wheher we buy into them because we think they're cool." -Donald Miller, Blue Like Jazz

"I don't want to be percieved the way I am, I just want to be percieved the way I am.
It seems kinda contradictary, doesn't it? But in reality, it's not. You want people to see you for who you really are, instead of who you pretend to be."

^^ I was looking through old blogs on my xanga, and found that. And it made me smile. Because it's still absolutely true.

I wish people weren't so cruel, so stupid.. so self-centered. Me included. It's why we put up walls.. because all people care about is themselves, so you just get hurt when you don't put up walls. The saddest part is that when you do, no one notices and cares to tear them down. I hate to sound cliche, but that's how it is. And it depresses me.

.. why can't we all just get along?

Believe In Dreams

"I know, the days will come and go,
But baby I'll grow old, but I will die.
For now, is it worth it to be sad,
If it's harder to be glad to be alive?

For the trouble I have caused I wonder,
Where do I belong?
Is it here?

Believe in dreams you love so much,
Let the passion of your hearts make them real
And tell all the ones you love,
Anything and everything you feel.
I laugh about the past.
Secretly, wish we could go back,
And save the child...

As I look around this room,
See the worried eyes I know
It's time I cannot buy
Was this worth the time to rise?
Was this worth the time to rise?

Believe in dreams
I believe in dreams
I believe in dreams
I believe in you

Believe in dreams you love so much,
Let the passion of your hearts make them real
And tell all the ones you love,
Anything and everything you feel
Believe in dreams
Believe dreams"

^^ That song is by Flyleaf, and I think it's one of my new favorite songs. Especially the part I bolded. It makes so much sense for my life right now.

We've been going to Cornerstone for about 10 months now.

I can see very clearly that my parents love it. They've been more involved here in the past ten months than they have been at any other chutch that I remember. Well, actually, not really.. but they enjoy their involvement more here. I can see it in their eyes when they talk about church.. To put it simply: I know this is where God wants them, and that they are glad for that.

As for Sarah, she fits right in. She's found a new best friend in Autumn. Those two are like peas in a pod. And she also babysits half the kids in the church on a regular basis, and everyone loves her here (like everywhere).

The problem is me. I honestly cannot see where I fit in at this church. I just can't... and that bugs me. A lot. Because I can see how amazingly happy the rest of my family is here. And if I don't belong here, at Cornerstone, where do I belong? I honestly haven't felt completely comfortable at a church ever since Creekside and that whole mess, and I'm scared that I never will. But I know it's not just my fear that's preventing me from being comfortable at Cornerstone. There's something else there.. I'm not sure what it is though.

I just have no idea. I really, honestly don't.

If Only. (rant)

"Think of the impact if the first thing radical feminists thought of when the conversation turned to evangelical men was that they had the best reputation for keeping their marriage vows and serving their wives in the costly fashion of Jesus at the cross. Think of the impact if the first thing the homosexual community thought of when someone mentioned evangelicals was that they were the people who lovingly ran the AIDS shelters and tenderly cared for them down to their last gasp. A little consistent wholesome modeling and costly servanthood are worth millions of true words spoken harshly." –Philip Yancey

Why can't we, as Christians, start to truly show the love of Christ? Instead of instantly condeming people, and saying that their sin is worse than ours, and hating them because they don't believe the same we do. Why can't we be Christ-like, and love people just to love them, and love them unconditionally, like Jesus does. Why can't we show people who Christ really is instead of the idiot that we depict Him as? Why can't we love people, not to get them to become a Christian, but because we are supposed to love?

I admit, I'm not great at showing love. But I'm working on it... and I want every Christian too. I want us to be real, not the selfish fakes that we are.

"I liked the idea of loving people just to love them, not to get them to come to church." -Donald Miller, Blue Like Jazz