i envy those who can come up with incredibly profound things to say.
those who always have something wise to talk about.

like stephen christian. and jon foreman. and many others..

i just envy good writers. those who can write paragraph upon paragraph and make it all sound beautiful..

it seems the harder i try to be wise, the harder i try to make sense of everything.. the harder it is to become that, the more confusing everything becomes.
the more i learn the more i realize how little i know.


currently listening: little house - the fray

"everybody dies but not everybody lives"

who i am hates who i've been

'cause I don't want you to know where I am / 'cause then you'll see my heart / in the saddest state it's ever been.

i love those times when you're listening to a song... and you just stop and listen. and you realize that those lyrics describe exactly what you're going through at that time in life.

I talk to absolutely no one / couldn't keep to myself enough / and the things bottled inside have finally begun / to create so much pressure that I'll soon blow up

i've been handling life fairly well lately. like for the past two? weeks. which isn't normal for me. normally i can barely go a couple days without getting depressed again.. but things are different. and i don't know why that is. because i'm still a mess inside. but i'm taking care of it much better than i have been.

And I was positive that unless I got myself together, I would watch me fall apart.

"all my balloons are popping."

I haven't blogged in awhile.
Mostly because I tend to blog when I'm on the extreme ends of emotions.
But I've been pretty much normal as of late.
and I'm handling life fairly well. which is good.

the end.

sing me something i've never heard before

I heart My Favorite Highway.

The cold weather has come and it makes me really excited. I LOVE hoodie weather and fall and the changing of the colors and the overcast skies and just all of it. This season signifies the start of change. It signifies that things get dark and cold before they are reborn, but in the end they *are* reborn. and that the warmth and sunshine will come again. I love that.

My life's been uneventful as of late, like always.
Although, I did go to two concerts last week. Which was cool.
I have so much time on my hands I don't know what to do with it all. which is lame.
I need a life. hah.

I haven't done a vlog in over a month. oops.
ah, well, I guess it's better. I haven't bored anybody. haha.

Ooh. I'm getting my wisdom teeh + two extra teeth pulled on November 11th. I'm not looking forwards to it at all. ew. ew. ew.

which means I'm not going to be getting a job until the end of November instead of the beginning. because I was originally supposed to get them out endish of October, but they didn't have any spots open. lamesauce.

OOH!
So I'm seriously considering being a scene kid for Halloween. haha.
But I haven't fully decided yet. But I don't know what I'll be if I'm not that.
hmm.. thoughts?

decode - paramore

How can I decide what's right
When you're clouding up my mind?
I can't win your losing fight
All the time.

How can I ever own what's mine
When you're always taking sides?
But you won't take away my pride.
No, not this time.
Not this time.

How did we get here?
I used to know you so well.
How did we get here?
Well, I think I know.

The truth is hiding in your eyes
And it's hanging on your tongue.
Just boiling in my blood.
But you think that I can't see
What kind of man that you are,
If you're a man at all.
Well, I will figure this one out
On my own.
(I'm screaming, "I love you so.")
On my own.
(My thoughts you can't decode.)

How did we get here?
I used to know you so well, yeah.
How did we get here?
Well, I think I know.

Do you see what we've done?
We've gone and made such fools
Of ourselves.
Do you see what we've done?
We've gone and made such fools
Of ourselves.

How did we get here?
I used to know you so well, yeah, yeah.
How did we get here?
Well, I used to know you so well.
I think I know.
I think I know.

There is something I see in you.
It might kill me.
I want it to be true

---------------

I love, love, love this song. It's a new one.. going to be on the Twilight soundtrack (which comes out on my birthday, whoo!).

I hit my head on a tree yesterday.
yep.
I was on a walk with my dogs, and I ducked under a branch, and there was a little (extremely hard) part of it sticking down. And I cut my head open. It bled for awhile, but it's nothing serious. although, the cut is like, 3/4 of an inch long and it's really gross looking. hah.

Went and saw "Swing Vote" last night with my brother and his wife and the baby that's due on Sunday. =D
It was funny. Not amazing though.

uhm.
I think that's it. hah.

"I'm not strong enough....what do you do if you aren't strong enough?"
"you act as if you are"

i was watching the show 'The Unit' and those were the last words of the most recent episode. hm.

i've been listening to paper rings as of late.
check them out. (they're kind of acoustic-y and such, but really good)
http://myspace.com/paperrings