who i am hates who i've been

'cause I don't want you to know where I am / 'cause then you'll see my heart / in the saddest state it's ever been.

i love those times when you're listening to a song... and you just stop and listen. and you realize that those lyrics describe exactly what you're going through at that time in life.

I talk to absolutely no one / couldn't keep to myself enough / and the things bottled inside have finally begun / to create so much pressure that I'll soon blow up

i've been handling life fairly well lately. like for the past two? weeks. which isn't normal for me. normally i can barely go a couple days without getting depressed again.. but things are different. and i don't know why that is. because i'm still a mess inside. but i'm taking care of it much better than i have been.

And I was positive that unless I got myself together, I would watch me fall apart.