Feel Ok - Eleventyseven

If you're like me you make believe
That everything that could possibly
Go wrong is gonna happen here tonight
And if you're like me you're on the brink
Of telling everybody what you think
As if what I had to say was important anyway

The first mistake that you and I will make
Is trying way too hard to compensate

'Cause I don't have to feel ok to be ok
I wasn't created just to live my life this way
I don't have to feel ok to be ok
And I refuse to live my life this way

If you're like me you lie awake
Scared to death of your mistakes
Somehow coming back to claim your soul
And if you're like me you're wondering
When everybody else is gonna see
All the stupid things you do
To keep the past away from you

The first result of everything we've done
Is living life but never having one

My first impression is I don't think that depression is
The tyrant that we make it out to be
Your life is yours to live for something way more positive
Than what you woke up feeling like today

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This is my "theme song", you could say.

I've been learning a lot about myself, and life, and stuff lately.

The main thing is this: Life sucks sometimes, deal with it, and move on. Enjoy it when it doesn't.

I love me. I do. I may have some body image issues, and friend issues, and church issues, and a whole bunch of other issues.. but I really love who I am, and wouldn't have it any other way.

I love life. I hate things in life, like school, and work, and boredom, and such. But I love life, and I love living it. It's so amazing. Like, uberly, uberly, uberly amazing. I can't help but look at my life and think I'm blessed. I mean, I know what I beleive and stick with it. I have both parents, and they're still together. I have siblings. I have a roof over my head, and all the food I can eat. I have great friends. I have a relationship with Jesus Christ, who saves me from my suckiness. I have great possibilities for my future. I have hope.

I refuse to live my life like I have a horrible one. I refuse to be emo and depressed all the time. I refuse to hate who I am. I refuse to live my life like I'm an idiot.

I'm excited for my future, whatever it may bring. And honestly, I'm not scared of what it will bring. I *know* that God is in control. It's a very comforting thought.. knowing that I don't have to handle it all.

With all this said, I know I'm going to have bad days. I'm going to hate myself, and hate life sometimes. But I'll get right back to this feeling. That life is an amazing creation that should be thouroughly enjoyed.

^_^