I've been thinking a lot lately. (which is never a good thing)

I don't want the typical American life. Once you get out of highschool, go to college, get a good job, get married, have kids, grow old, blah blah blah.

I don't want it. At all. It just seem so.. lame. I couldn't enjoy that life.

But then again.. I don't really know what I want. Besides that I want to love myself, and love Jesus, and love living. As long as I have that, I'm good. But I don't know what I'll have to do to achieve that.

My biggest dream, which is completely ubsurd and will probally never come true, is to become involved in the music industry doing some sort of ministry. Kind of like Jamie Tworkowski. He helps a lot of people, and knows a lot of people in the music industry.. and.. yeah. I would LOVE to do something like that. I was talking to my parents the other day about what I want to do seriously after highschool (go to college for music business), and my dad laughed at me. Pretty much shot it down. Kind of made me realize how rediculous my dreams are, and how I'll most likely end up in a dead-end desk job or something of the sort.

But I don't want it. I don't. I don't. I don't. I want to do something meaningful... something that will make a lasting impact on someone's life.

I wish I knew what that was.

Maybe I'll just travel around in that hippie van all my life and be a bum.... *sigh*