i love the Bible.

Isaiah 40:28-31
Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
The LORD is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
and his understanding no one can fathom.
He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.
Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;
but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;


Isaiah 43:8-10
Forget the former things;
do not dwell on the past.
See, I am doing a new thing!
Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the desert
and streams in the wasteland.


Isaiah 60:20
Your sun will never set again,
and your moon will wane no more;
the LORD will be your everlasting light,
and your days of sorrow will end.
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.


Psalm 57:1
Have mercy on me, O God, have mercy on me,
for in you my soul takes refuge.
I will take refuge in the shadow of your wings
until the disaster has passed.


Proverbs 18:10
The name of the LORD is a strong tower;
the righteous run to it and are protected.

my grandmother died today.

she's with Jesus now.. and i'm glad. she has no more pain.
i'm a bit jealous. =]
but it's good. we've basically been waiting for her to die for awhile. and now she's gone. free of pain.

it's sad. but it's even happier than it is sad.

myspace - eleventyseven

Tell me all about yourself
Tell me all about your favorite bands
How they're super-indie-neo-hardcore
Tell me all about your favorite hobbies
And the way you love sunsets
Well who doesn't?

Still I'd like the chance to really see
If what you say is true and has integrity
Cause I could know everything about you
And still know nothing at all
I know that it's wrong to form an opinion on only what I see
But in my defense it's really hard to know
When MySpace is the only thing that you ever show

So it seems you've got a lot of friends
How many of them know you
Or even care if you're alive or dead?
When was the last time you were honest
Instead of posting blogs of fake emotions?

Still I'd like the chance to really see
If what you say is true and has integrity
Cause I could know everything about you
And still know nothing at all
I know that it's wrong to form an opinion on only what I see
But in my defense it's really hard to know
When MySpace is the only thing that you ever show

When you finally resurface to the point of finding purpose
We'll begin to see just who you are

I know that it's wrong to form an opinion on only what I see
But in my defense it's really hard to know
When MySpace is the only thing that you ever show

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=im5fbH6wee8

emergency / pressure - paramore

-----
i don't feel like posting lyrics. just the videos. both good videos. i love paramore.

anyway.

happy Easter!
but it really hasn't seem much like easter. normally we go up to my grandma's house and do this big dinner and egg hunt and such.. but since my grandma is pretty much dead (like, they're expecting her to go within the next few days - she's been unconcious since friday night) we didn't do anything. just stayed home and had a normal dinner... nathan&stefanie and heidi&tim came over.. but other than that, and a special resurrection sermon in church this morning, it was a fairly normal sunday. i played on worship team this morning... it was weird, 'cause i thought i messed up several times, but a bunch of people came up to me and said good job.. including my dad and he was about to cry. it was strange.


i love this holiday. i really do. easter is my favorite holiday. it's the essence of my faith - of who i am. it still blows me away whenever i think (qhich is quite often) that there's Someone who loves me so much to die for me.. Someone who can conquer sin and death.

I love Jesus. more than anything.

my mom was gone this past week - up with my grandma. and she came home today for church and lunch - and now she's back up with my grandma. staying up there the whole week again. it's been strange.. i mean, i'll admit, it's been nice not fighting with her all the time.. because we can't fight when we don't see each other... but it's been strange...



my heart hurts tonight.

rambling. fun, fun.

i was reading through my old posts this morning.. man, I'm a whiner. hah. but seriously, they're all emo and most of them are deep and such.. and in most of them i complain.

so, in this post, there shall be no complaining. because i always say that i hate it when people complain about things that don't need to be complained about, but i do it alll the time. =p

anyway.

i really love my church. a lot. a lot. i didn't ever think i would say that.. because after what's happened with all the churches in the past, i was pretty much done with church when we started going here. but i really do love it. i even put a church sticker on my guitar case. *gasp* the youth group is still only me, sarah, and autumn.. but it's okay. lauren, our bible study leader (and the youth leaders, danny, wife) is awesome. i love her so much. which is good.. because tend to hate people, so it's good when i love them. haha. we had a st. patty's day party on saturday. it was uber-fun. =] oh.. and i've started playing on the worship team regularly. sunday was my first time (well, if you don't count christmas eve), and i'm playing this sunday (easter, ohmyunicorns), and next sunday.. and i'll be i playing two sundays a month from now on. it's pretty wild, eh? =]


Ooh.. and this year, so far (and hopefully for the rest of the year too), i've gone to a concert each month! =D
january was the one in parker with fight the good fight, everfound, rough draft, and soulja. febuary was the eleventy one! and march was the fight the good fight, a rotterdam november, and ever stays red one. april is going to be pillar, wavorly, and manic drive. may is going to be superchic[k], kj-52, britt nicole, and someone else. for the rest of the year, i dunno. but i'm gonna go. heh. oohh.. brooke is going to be my concert buddy for this summer! i'm uber-excited, because she's never really been to any concerts... and since sarah's going to be gone in mexico, i need one. hehe.
other than concerts, i don't have anything planned for this summer.. which is kinda a bummer. =[ (and i'm a poet! haha)
all the things i want to do, my parents said no to. oh well. =/


"this record is dedicated to everyone who wakes up every morning.. says no to being treated like a demographic.. statistic.. or consumer.. and decides to conquer their galaxy instead"

^^ those are the last words on the cd cover of eleventyseven's newest release, "Galactic Conquest". i never read it before this week. and it makes me smile like no other, and love them even more.
i really do love those guys, a lot. i really don't know why, either.. besides the fact that their music (and lyrics!) are awesome, and they're awesome, and they're somewhat like big brothers to me.. =D
go listen to eleventyseven right now, just for me.
http://myspace.com/eleventyseven

the end.

Trainwreck - A Rotterdam November

Meaning: Trainwreck is trying to depict a real life relationship, without all of Hollywood's elaborations (especially from the emotional rollercoaster perspective). The basic message is that love is a choice and being perfect is not the objective, but being faithful is - just as faithful as the stars and waves of God's creation. However, due to the obstacles and chaos everyday life throws at the relationship, it might, at times, appear more as a train wreck in progress. In spite of this, the difficulties will be managed and the ultimate goal of faithfulness and oneness is possible. And, yes, I know that trainwreck is actually two words. I wanted to portray it less of a train that has gone off track and more of a continuing process of doing the best I can.


Lyrics:

I could never promise I won't let you down.
I won't give my word, you won't get hurt.
But, look at the stars, they don't always shine so bright.
They're above us now, they're above us night after night.
Look at my hands now. They look so empty without yours.
Emotions are footprints in the rain, but my heart pounds like a...


Train wreck, the subway's on fire.
I'll do my best to save what I save.
Smoke or ash, we're never looking back.
As strong as I can, I'll stay on the track.

I don't always convey exactly the right words.
Sometimes, my tongue is sharp and I yield it like a sword.
But, do you see the waves? Crashing relentlessly on the shore.
Carving stone and rock without retreat in a campaign of war.
Consider my eyes now, bluer than this persistent army.
Emotions are footprints in the rain, but my heart pounds like a...

Train wreck, the subway's on fire.
I'll do my best to save what I save.
Smoke or ash, we're never looking back.
As strong as I can, I'll stay on the track

I'm coming, for you, I swear it's true, I'll let, it stand like a monument, think of me, when you see it, This train, will be on time. The engine is empty, but who needs coal, Trust me, I can't be everything, I'll be here, pounding like a..

Train wreck, the subway's on fire.
I'll do my best to save what I save.
Smoke or ash, we're never looking back.
As strong as I can, I'll stay on the track

---------------------------------

I really like this song. Quite a lot. I think it's my current favorite song.

A Rotterdam November is AMAZING, and you should check them out. The story behind their name is really cool too.
http://www.myspace.com/arotterdamnovember



I was grounded from the internet this past week.. that's why there were no entries...
I hate being grounded.

I've been uber-busy this week though.. so I wouldn't have been on much anyway..

eh.

Even in literature and art, no man who bothers about originality will ever be original: whereas if you simply try to tell the truth (without caring twopence how often it has been told before) you will, nine times out of ten, become original without ever having noticed it.
- C. S. Lewis

i had another fight with my mom last night.

*sigh*

can't believe - foolish things

i know by the way that you watch me
you're wishing i'd been someone else
but stuck here with me
you know we'll never be like the people on magazine shelves
i don't know where we forgot
we're all worth enough to be bought with a life

i still can't believe
that the same voice that spoke all the stars in the space says it loves me
and he made me nothing less than what i'm meant to be
some things i believe have been misconcieved
in this heart that can't understand love
help me to see what you see in me

i felt in your touch that you love me
still i'm drowning in all the world's lies
the way that i see is untrue to me
so my human heart's asking for some inhuman eyes

i still can't believe
that the same voice that spoke all the stars in the space says it loves me
and he made me nothing less than what i'm meant to be
some things i believe have been misconcieved
in this heart that can't understand love
help me to see what you see in me

i don't know where.. but we forgot
we're all worth enough to be bought with a life

i still can't believe
that the same voice that spoke all the stars in the space says it loves me
and he made me nothing less than what i'm meant to be
some things i believe have been misconcieved
in this heart that can't understand love
help me to see what you see in me

-------------------

i was thinking about God, and the way people think of God today.
i think most people have the wrong view of God. the view that God is a vending maching.. that God will always do something. the view that God will give us everything and more. the view that we will always be able to hear God. i think that view is really screwed up. i dunno. i just think that real belief in God is just believing that things will all turn out right in the end. believing that someone is in control. believing that you are loved unconditionally, and that you have been and always will be loved. believing that you are loved so much that someone died for you so you could be saved from eternal pain. believing that you always have a friend. believing that you are never alone.
i don't know about you, but i'm perfectly content with that. with just knowing that i'm loved. i may be wrong about this. maybe people are right in thinking all those things about God.. but i think we put Him in too small of a box.. we limit what He's doing, just because we can't see it directly. but i believe.. it's not faith if you use your eyes.

"we often ask God to show up. we pray prayers of rescue. perhaps God would ask us to be that rescue, to be His body, to move for things that matter. He is not invisible when we come alive." - jamie tworkowski



i think too much.

http://relevantmagazine.com/god_article.php?id=7489

i wish i didn't always screw things up.

"It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live." - Dumbledore

I was watching Harry Potter yesterday, and when he said that.. it somewhat hit me hard.
I think that's what I've been doing lately. I keep on dreaming of who I want to be, who I should be, instead of working towards making myself like that. I keep on dreaming of what I want my relationships with others too look like, what I want my life too look like, what I want to look like, etc. But that's all I've been doing - dreaming. I haven't been changing anything. All I've been doing is dreaming about changing it. And I'm afraid.. because I know that's it's affected several relationships.. and screwed them up.. and.. *sigh*
Don't get me wrong - dreams are great. But not when you just dream them. You have to do something, you have to work to make those dreams come true.
Along with my tendancy to dream too much, as of late, I've had a tendancy to get jealous really easily. Like, my friend was telling me about some stuff she's been doing lately, not to make me feel bad or anything, just to vent out her excitement, and I got really jealous.
And I feel really bad for being jealous.

So.. yeah. I seriously need to change some things.

"no excuses. the time for change is here and now." - Wavorly