101st post!

lightning is amazing.
i'm currently watching it flash across the sky as i'm watch the rain slide down the window.

it makes me think about how amazingly creative God is. i mean... rain is such a strange thing. it's so incredibly amazing. God is so incredibly amazing. i dunno.. i haven't felt this way about God in such a long time. but right now i'm just in awe of who He is.

it's a pretty amazing feeling.
and i think i'm overusing the word 'amazing'. =p

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crawl - superchic[k]

How long will this take?
How much can I go through?
My heart, my soul aches
I don’t know what to do
I bend, but don’t break
Somehow I’ll get through
Cause I have You

And if I had to crawl
Well You’d crawl too
I stumble and I fall
Carry me through
The wonder of it all
Is You see me through

O Lord, where are you?
Do not forget me here
I cry in silence
Can you not see my tears
When all have left me
And hope has disappeared
You’ll find me here

When everything I was is lost
I have forgot, but You have not
When I am lost, You have not lost me
You have not lost me

Behind the Song:
"One critic wrote the following about our album, Beauty from Pain:

“The songwriting seems more vapid, despite the personalized approach, with most songs merely offering a message of ‘we all hurt, but hold on because it’ll get better.’”

I think this critic missed the second half of the message: “Hold on, it will get better. You are not alone, God is with you.” This is not vapid; there is a place below bottom where that is the only message that makes any sense. A friend called me to let me know about his baby birth, but as he asked me to pray, he choked up, unable to get the words out to tell me that his son was born with Down syndrome. I’ve watched mute and helpless while friends have lost family members to cancer. I’ve personally been to the dark place where suicide seems like the only way out. In those times, when our hearts have broken and are overflowing with grief, we don’t need clever theology or smart slogans. All we need is the fundamental core truth of it all...that God has not left us - and though we may have lost hope and lost ourselves and lost everything, He has not lost us.

“How long, O Lord, will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? How long must I take counsel in my soul and have sorrow in my heart all day?” Psalm 13:1-2" - Max Hsu (Superchick)

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i visited my old youth group tonight.
well, it's not technically my old youth group.. because we left that church before i was even in youth group. six months before to be exact.
but i went and saw some of my old friends.. most of the youth group i didn't know.. but it was nice seeing them again.
it's amazing how God can turn incredibly hurtful situations into amazing results. like in leaving that church.. that was incredibly hard for me. when you're in fifth/sixth grade you don't really truly understand it all... all i understood really was that i had to leave my friends, and my safe haven for pretty much all my life. (except for the one year we left to plant castle pines and then left and went to another couple churches and then returned to fb). but now that i look back on it.. it was a good thing. a very good thing. i would *never* have grown in Christ if i had stayed there. i would be goofing of with my friends like they were doing tonight. the youth pastor - brian - did a wonderful lesson. and i felt really bad for him, because most of the youth group wasn't paying any attention at all. he wasn't getting any of the respect he deserves. it makes me really sad... the whole youth group thing. i wish they could take things seriously every once in awhile.
my whole life has revolved around church - not gonna lie. my parents have always been involved in ministry, and i've grown up getting to church early and leaving late. that's what i'm accustumed to. and it's not a bad thing either. but church is where some of my biggest hurts have come from. but it's okay. i'm beginning to see how much God has used these hurts to make me who i am today - a better person. a person i would never have been if i had still been there. i never would have met so many amazing people. i never would have had the deperation that has led me to a true relationship with Christ. i never would have been who i am. i wouldn't be in the wonderful place that i am right now.

point blank, Jesus Christ is amazing and i would not be in this place that i am, much less alive, right now if it were not for Him.
people can go on and on all they want about how He isn't real and blah blah blah.. but i know it isn't true. i know it with all my heart.
He is real. and He is personal.
He is my savior, my king, and my everything.

He is helping me live with passion. He is helping me conquer my galaxy.

the end.