another casualty.

self-destructive habits..
i don't want this anymore
i can't do this anymore
i'm barely hanging on as it is.


i've been incredibly mean and cynical lately. it comes with being incredibly stressed, i think. things that are good are happening, i have jobs, i have four months of school left [six until graduation], i just got a new guitar, it's christmastime.
but i'm still not happy.
i still haven't found what i'm looking for.
everything that i see everyone around me finding hope in holds no hope for me.