the day after Christmas.
it's crazy, really. i've been so so so busy this month. and now everything's calmed down. my family's still having a Christmas celebration on Sunday, but Christmas is basically over. i'm done with my santa job, and now am just working at baskin-robbins.
oh, i am so blessed.
i can't understand why i hate my life so much.
my mind and my heart are in a neverending battle.
i didn't want much this Christmas, i didn't ask for much. i really am trying to simplify my life, slowly but surely.
but then i only got a little bit of stuff. and i craved more.
i am much more materialistic than i let myself believe.
a fight between flesh and soul.


surrender is so hard.



"Time for surrender
Spread out your open hands
And He will raise you up
Confessing all that's broken
And watch the healing come
Spread out your open hands
Admit you've held them shut
Be swept away by this"
- flylead, "swept away"